Searching.....

by Melissa Wirth-Newell

I find myself searching for You.
Somehow,
You have become lost.
I miss talking with You.
did I disappoint You?
I exposed my heart,
but I wonder,
was it worth the cost?

I search for You in the eyes of others,
do You still see me the same?
My heart knows that You do
but my mind tells me otherwise.
Have I changed so much,
strayed too far?
I have only myself to blame.

I search for You in the pages I have written.
You are there,
but am I reading between the lines?
You engage my heart,
my thoughts,
my feelings,
You always have had a way with me,
right from the start.

I know that You are always near,
but why do I feel so alone?
Life is tossing me around like a ship,
lost at sea.
The times I have found You,
or You have found me,
You were my anchor.
Keeping me from breaking apart,
in this hurricane,
that has become my life.

I am searching,
where did You go?
Your encouraging words,
have brought light to my life again,
like a lighthouse,
in the midst of this storm.
Where did You go?

I am searching once again,
this time for Your thoughts.
They give me comfort,
strength,
renewed vision,
in areas I thought had been lost.

This storm will never die down,
of that I am sure,
for life constantly tosses me around.
But the calm moments You have given me,
allow me to hold on,
tighter,
stronger,
preparing me for the next round.

I am searching,
will You be there still?
I am searching,
praying,
wishing,
hoping,
that You will.